Some 500 are expected in the Floata restaurant Jan. 28, when “Toddish McWong” and broad-caster Priya Ramu will emcee at a banquet involving haggis-shrimp dumplings, haggis-stuffed tofu and haggis won ton.  Diners and guest artists will also sing Scotland the Brave, My Chow Mein Lies Over the Ocean and other favourites.

The Kilted, plaid draped Wong kicked off this year's shenanigans with multi-cultural poetry readings at the library's central branch Monday.

Gung Haggis Fat Choy is as nuttily indigenous – and therefore as praiseworthy – as the now-defunct World Bellyflop Championship and the Nanaimo-Vancouver Bathtub Race.

Perhaps the future will include a scholarly comparison of the Great Wall of China and Hadrian's Wall, the former built to keep belligerent troublemakers out of China and the latter to keep them in Scotland.

note: I actually told him I was a library assistant.